Ever since I was a kid, I've loved submarine movies (The Hunt for Red October, anyone?). The submarine captains seemed so much less brutish than their counterparts on land, and there was a certain elegance to them. I mean, even in the chaos of warfare, they'd find time to sit with their senior officers in the officers' mess and drink tea and discuss philosophy. What's not to like!? So maybe it has something to do with that, but so far I think online dating is a lot like those submarine movies.
Some of the comparisons are obvious--the solitary nature of the submarine and the online dater; the vastness of the ocean and the Internet. But I think what really seals it for me is how similar online courtship is to submarine warfare. Much like the submarine dutifully patrols the ocean, I do the same in the digital expanse. Most of the time nothing noteworthy occurs while on patrol, but then out of nowhere comes contact on sonar. Bogey sighted! Alert Level: Yellow! Man battle stations!
I think what makes submarine battle so great is the tension created by not being able to physically see the opponent, the chess-like strategy involved in besting that opponent, and the fact that there's very little room for error. Maybe it's because I'm early in this most-recent online dating stint, but I feel that same level of tension/excitement when contact is made. A "ping" on the sonar, and an interested party is revealed. But what's this beautiful girl's intention? Is she friend or foe? Reading her deliberately-crafted profile reveals little to resolve the matter. Volleys of text messages and emails are exchanged, seeking out their targets in torpedo-like fashion. We bob and weave, maneuvering with the utmost alacrity. A date is secured! We meet face-to-face. Will this encounter end in victory? Or as a pile of scrap metal lost and forgotten on the ocean floor?
This is what crossed my mind while doing the usual post mortem after my date yesterday. As dates go, I'd certainly put it in the "I think it went well" category. She was vivacious, interesting, inquisitive, intriguing and very, very attractive to boot. She didn't foreclose a second date outright, and I don't think I did/said anything to make me ineligible for said date. Still, I couldn't help but notice that on multiple occasions she mentioned her other suitors and how delightful her dates with them have been. Now, this is a first for me in the sense that I've never had a girl be so forthcoming about her other suitors. Not to say that I thought each girl I went on a date with was dating people one-at-a-time; obviously they're casting their nets wide. But this was never made explicit during a date.
Now, mentioning the other suitors wasn't accidental on her part. This much is clear. But what was her intention in doing so? And like the submarine captain I am left to ponder. Is she trying to signal that it's not going to work between she and I? But then why not just foreclose Date 2 then and there? Or is she simply trying to signal that she's desireable? But that was known to me even before she mentioned her other suitors. Adding to the puzzle is that I know nothing of these other suitors. They could be slovenly douchebags or some type of unholy lab-created Super Gentlemen (a hybrid of Joseph Gordon Levitt, Brad Pitt and George Clooney). Sure, I'm a bit anxious now with all these other suitors out there, but I certainly have no intention of just
bowing out.
Anyway, so here we are. After a brief encounter, the two submarines have parted ways, one having escaped in the chaos of battle and the other in fast pursuit. Which puts me squarely within that awkward stage of waiting for second contact. Will I find her again? Will we be able to spar once more in person? Or will I be left only with memories of that one encounter? I imagine the answers to these questions will be made known shortly. For now, it's back to the patrol.
--KM
"Re-verify our range to target. One ping only."
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