You Say Valentine's Day, I Say Thursday

And so we approach that time of year again--Valentine's Day.  For some, Valentine's Day is an annoyance, a day of jacked up flower prices and packed restaurants.  For others, it's a special day for romance, a chance to leave the kids with grandma and spend some quality time with the love of your life. And for others still, it's a scathing reminder of their romantic ineptitude, a day to be dreaded.  My thoughts on Valentine's Day have run the gamut.  From the naive and hopeful, "Oh, Valentine! Oh, Valentine! Wherefore art my Valentine?" to the angry and bitter, "Valentine's Day is just another bullshit Hallmark holiday meant to gouge couples and make single people feel like shit."  Today, I think I have a bit more of a balanced perspective to the whole affair--Valentine's Day is a lot like the roulette table: sometimes my number hits, but most of the time I'm walking away empty-handed.

This year, as in most years, the odds of my Romantic Wheel of Destiny landing on "Valentine's Magic" appear remote as ever.  Which at this point I've become accustomed to given the amount of time I've spent "between relationships."  That's not to say I'm ashamed of being single (disappointed, maybe; ashamed, no).  It's just that being single around Valentine's Day seems to get you branded as "sad."  Whether that means "unhappy," "pathetic," or a mixture of both I've never figured out, but it's a label that's completely undeserved.  The other 364 days of the year, there's no stigma attached to being single.  But on Valentine's Day, if you've got no one to call your special someone, it means you're a failure.  And not just a failure at any ol' endeavor, but at that which serves as the core of all humanity--love.  Pretty harsh, no?

Much of this negativity is driven by singles themselves.  I've never had any coupled-up people mock me or otherwise bring attention to my singleness in any negative way.  At least not openly and certainly not close to Valentine's Day.  No, my experience is that for whatever reason the prospect of a February 14th spent alone breeds a plague of fear and envy and anger that spreads uncontrollably through all Singledome.  And as this plague begins to blanket the land in darkness, word spreads quickly that the only way to prevent it from infecting you is to find a Valentine's date.  And so singles scramble frantically in the days leading up to February 14th to ensure they're not left out; that they're not stuck standing like a dummy when the music stops in Valentine's Musical Chairs.  I've even known some who've gone so far as to prolong a failing relationship just to avoid being alone on Valentine's Day.  It's a ruthless enterprise this business of finding your Valentine.

That's not to say I'm Anti-Valentine's Day.  No, sir.  The older I get, the more I see the value of Valentine's Day.  As relationships mature and settle into the routine of the day-to-day, there's nothing wrong with an excuse to turn back the clock to the beginning, if not just for one night, and relive those early moments of courtship and romance.  To the days of awkward first dates, getting caught in the rain, and electric first kisses.  To remember why you fell in love in the first place.  And if a bunch of chocolatiers, restaurants, and florists make a buck in the process?  Good for them.  Plus, when else will elementary school kids get to decorate a brown paper bag and then walk around their class handing out witty cards--I choo-choo-choose you!--to their friends, enemies, and future love interests?  No, the world needs Valentine's Day.

So then where does that leave us singles?  Well, I'm definitely not a proponent of raising the banner of "Singles Awareness Day," which I think is a futile and s.a.d. attempt to steal the spotlight.  No, I think it's important for singles to concede that on February 14th the spotlight narrows its focus to shine most brightly on couples.  No sense getting petty about the darned thing.  But that's not to say we should shut ourselves up on Valentine's Day either.  To the contrary, I think it's paramount that we band together.  For us singles, Valentine's Day really is just another day of the week.  Despite its aura, the power of Valentine's Day to make you feel like shit is just an illusion of roses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.  When you pull back the curtain, it's exposed as your familiar friend Thursday.  And if we know anything about Thursday, it's that he wants you to be having a good time; not sitting prisoner in your own home.

So there you go, hopefully some inspiration for my single brethren out there; a little Valentine's Day battle cry for the single set.  If you're holding out hope that you'll find last minute Valentine's Day magic, "Thursday!"  For does not love at first sight require you to be seen?  If you're miserable because you're single, "Thursday!"  For does misery not love company?  If you're just looking for an excuse to get really drunk, "Thursday!"  For have you not earned that right for getting through four-fifths of the week?  Whatever your desire, whatever your motivation, I truly hope that all you single folk are out and about on February 14th.  And, that when you least expect it. . . THUNK!  Cupid's arrow finds its mark.  Hey, a little optimism never hurt anyone, right?

Thursday!

--KM

"Luck be a lady tonight."